Connecting Rainbows

Aro, one of the Volturi leaders in the Twilight series, can hear every single thought a person has ever had upon making physical contact with that person. When I went into my therapy session today, I wished that my therapist had that power. I have so much going on, so many thoughts, but no direction. I couldn’t imagine that I would be able to express all these thoughts in the allotted 50 minutes, never mind get any feedback on them. Mind reading would have been a very beneficial skill today.

As you probably know, my position at work was eliminated a week and a half ago. (i.e. I was fired… and the reason given: “it’s just business”.) Needless to say, after working for a brand new company for 11 months and having been promoted twice in that time frame, being let go was a rather big shock. Yes, I’m sure it’s for the best.

So, obviously we are going to add a large amount of financial stress into this equation since my unemployment benefits will be almost $200 less a week than my paycheck and I will be losing my insurance (for all the good it did me anyway). One of my prescriptions is $220 a month for the GENERIC! I’m waiting for my doctor to give me a solution to that problem.

My back hurts like hell! I threw it out coughing when I had a chest cold a month ago. I’ve gotten a massage, two chiropractic adjustments and done quite a bit of walking and stretching. I was doing well for a couple of weeks, but the recent stress has led to muscle tension which has led me to walking like a 90 year old man again.

I had a fight with my husband last week about an old unresolved issue. He has forgiven me for things that I had gotten myself into during my “mid-life crisis”, but I have been unable to forgive him for what preceded the entire breakdown in our relationship. Obviously, there is alot more work to be done in that area on my part.

And then there is the issue of what-do-I-do-now? Again, I am faced with the question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My slate is clean. I have a fresh place to start. What on Earth do I do with it? I think I want to work for myself again. I want to pick up my website consulting and my fitness mentoring where I left it and make it all work this time. But who am I to be successful at that? I know alot and I am organized and resourceful, but I’m certainly no expert!

Believe it or not, I actually managed to get all of these thoughts out and discussed in an hour. We discussed what has happened, how and why to get around my roadblocks, and she gave me an incredible amount of confidence in the process. I wasn’t quite sure if she was my psychotherapist or if she had transformed into a life coach. I believe she has managed to be both. I’ve seen her off and on for at least two years now and we’ve made incredible progress, especially lately. Today was definitely one of the great therapy sessions. There was so much energy in the room that she actually started to “get goosebumps” and cry. Yes, her. Not me. Although I did leave with an entirely different attitude than I walked into that room with.

Look out world! Here I come!

By the way, if you are ever in need of a great therapist in Western NC, her name is Roberta Moore and her practice is Conscious Choices.